Strength doesn't always shout. Sometimes it whispers...

"I'll try again." "I need rest." "This boundary matters." "That's a 'no' for me."

Quiet strength is still strength.

Stoic demeanor. Tungsten and diamond. Quads for days.

The images and ideas conjured by the term "strength" often depict hardness with a pinch of invincibility.

But just as bravery isn’t the absence of fear but courage in the face of fear, strength isn’t about performing select movements or actions with precision and ease. Rather, strength feeds on the messy, uncomfortable, and inherently malleable process of navigating through life's challenges.

If strength is simply the ability to move against and through any form of resistance, the process of building strength is quite active (and physically, emotionally, and/or psychologically sweaty) . Embracing imperfection, making mistakes, learning what works / what doesn't and adapting are equally important components as we approach obstacles in our lives.

Resistance can come from a barbell: an obstacle you see with your eyes. You push, pull, and wrestle against this resistance before placing it down and walking away. With a little intentional rest and recovery, our bodies adapt and grow stronger because of the resistance (and the wrestle). Resistance is a requirement for growth. It's an inherent part of life.

Let's work from a framework that "resistance" is this broad entity that describes anything that helps us build capacity and capability in our lives if we choose to engage with it.

To be clear, resistance doesn't always appear in our lives as an invited guest; oftentimes it's a party crasher or even an intruder. But regardless of how it entered our lives, it's there and making its presence known.

It may be grief, or self-doubt; existential crisis or traumatic event.

It may be hustle/grind culture or prescribed family roles and responsibilities.

It may be sociocultural narratives about self-worth or inner monologues about what we "should" be doing, thinking, and feeling.

We push, pull, and wrestle with it. We put it down and then pick it back up again when we're ready.

Slowly... we adapt, we stumble, we learn, and we adapt some more.

We begin to move with the resistance a little better or carry it a little differently; perhaps we wrap the obstacle in self-compassion or intentionally put it down.

Warning: The process of building strength rarely facilitates immediate sensations of feeling strong.

Engaging with any form of resistance is hard. Whether you're maxing out on a sprint or unpacking childhood trauma, the effort and commitment comes at a short-term cost. You feel tired. You need rest. In the moment, you may not feel like the physical embodiment of tungsten but this is not indicative of your strength and capacity to move through your life. Quite the contrary, your ability to be in the mess and wade through the resistance is the truest testament to how strong you really are.